In Defense of Ryan

It would seem like this is the exact type of guy that I should hate.

Strangely, I do not hate him. In fact, I kind of like him.

Ryan Seacrest is the very definition of the oft over used phrase, "it is what it is."

On last night's episode (Kristy Lee Cook is my girl of the moment by the way. I'd have her out of that tent and shopping and fine dining in three months time. Tomboy. Get Real.), Simon Cowell said that Ryan Seacrest knows his limits. And as is often the case, Simon is exactly right.

Like many people, when American Idol first aired, I didn't like Ryan. But as the show wore on and as Ryan didn't try to delve into films like his one time partner Brian Dunkleman (the funniest name since Rusty Kuntz), I started to like him. And seeing as where I hate everyone, I have to know, why hate Ryan Seacrest?

Granted, he's corny as all get out, he seems like the kid you shoved in a locker in high school, he probably drinks wine coolers, and that smile seems painfully fake. He also dates better looking women than you, backed into fame (and so what?), and he says, "Seacrest. Out."

But you know what? He's the host of American Idol, a Red Carpet reporter, and a host on E! He's not starring in a Spielberg Pic, throwing no hitters, running for Governor, or even hosting a late night talk show. In the words of Senor Hoodie, he is what he is.

And really, what has he done to annoy you? He has never made a controversial or idiotic statement. He's not overly in your face. He never thinks the show is about him. He never claims to be the second coming of Elvis or Brando or Letterman or even Dick Clark. Every time you see the guy or hear the guy speak, I get the impression that he knows he's... Ryan Seacrest. Host of America's most polarizing, yet watched television show.

Honestly, aside from the smile and his complete cheesiness, what has he done to bother you? Let's look at other television "hosts..."

He doesn't think he's God like Oprah. He's not a loud mouth like Rosie. He's not as vociferous about his political opinions as is Hasselbeck. He's not as creepy and fraudulent as John Stossel. He's not near as pathetic as Magic Johnson and Chevy Chase (there was some good TV). He's fake, but not nearly as fake as Kelly Ripa.

Is he as good as Ellen or Letterman? Absolutely not. But then again, who is? And does he have the credibility of Charles Gibson or Ted Koppel? Of course not.

But here's the thing. He doesn't aspire to be any of those. Again, he is what he is and he knows it.

Remember how much we loved Katie Couric as the cutesy Today host lobbying for men to get rectal exams? Now, she's an annoying, in over her head, nightly news anchor. And what has Seacrest "branched" out to? Why, a host on the ratings challenged E! network and a Red Carpet reporter a few times a year. And for kicks, he'll do an occassional Kasey Kassum Top 40 and throw out a long distance dedication. Again, he knows his limitations and he know his role.

It's more than just knowing his role though. He's actually REALLY GOOD at what he does. Have you ever tried talking to a group? Count how many "ahs" or pauses you have before you answer a question or rebut someone's opinion. This guy goes on live TV three nights a week and NEVER errs. He keeps the highest rated show on television moving. There is never dead air and he is never at a loss for words (granted, he was a bit caught of guard by Gary Busey, but hey, wouldn't any of us be with that crazy mofo?).

Further, he is always nice to the contestants, he never appears to be favoring ANYONE (almost to a fault) and he has a good rapport- although it can get a little kitschy- with the judges. He doesn't get bullied and he handles tears equally as well as spastic rejections.

Do other hosts of television shows do it better? Maybe. Jeff Probst is awesome on Survivor, but that isn't live. Game show hosts always keep the action moving along and no one really displays any ill will towards them (especially Regis. Remember how much we loved him on the early days of Millionaire?). But their job is different. The game itself is the show and they just kind of blend in. And Seacrest does the exact same thing. Notice it sometime. He never makes himself the focal point of the show.

I think I know why people hate him. Basically, he is this random chuckah that came out of nowhere and now we see him three nights a week on live TV. Plus, he's a bit geeky and corny, but who do you want to host American Idol? Steve Martin? Tom Brokaw? Alex Trebek? Steven Colbert? The Rock? Daniel Day Lewis?

American Idol is what it is. A silly game show that exploded into America's pop culture forever. And it probably makes people mad that they aren't getting a cut of the pie. Seacrest irritates people because they all feel that they, given the opportunity, could do his job. Well one, you didn't go for an audition and two, YOU CAN'T DO IT AS WELL AS HE DOES! NO WAY! Plus, that gap you have in your teeth and that receding hairline (guess that rotates me out) aren't going to look as good on TV as Seacrest's pearly whites and perfect coiff.

There's so much out there to hate. Garden State, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ham and Cheese subs, strep throat, white supremacists, my mothers cooking, the guy talking behind you in the movie theater, the WNBA...

So why hate a guy that by all accounts (mine) isn't even that bad of a dude and is pretty good at what he does?

Ryan, you still have to get in line behind Pitt, Clooney, Becks, Leo, and Pedro on my binkie list, but you're getting there. But if I were on the Red Carpet with you the other night, I definitely would have sucker punched Busey for you. I would have then run away and blamed it on Dennis Hopper, but still, I would have got him good for you.