"From Behind The Couch.....YES!!!!!"

My salt has all been shaken out.....

And speaking of salt, I am strangely not annoyed by Valentine's Day. I know many people hate it and I know that there are those who go way overboard and I know you should show your love for your partner everyday and blah, blah, blah. But really, it's not that bad. In fact, if you just let it go, it can be nice. It's an excuse to buy some presents (or get them, which I enjoy much more), go for a nice dinner, or eat massive amounts of chocolate. And for single people, it's actually a great night to go out. All those sad, lonely, single girls who can easily be wooed by charming dudes who talk about chick lit and Before Sunset.....

It was my friend Matt who brought this to my attention. Did you see that it took the FCC five years to levy a fine against a nude scene on the television show NYPD Blue (you know the show. Hasn't been on since *NSYNC was popular)? Is there a more irrelevant group than the FCC? They make Warrant look like the next hip, indie band. Here's a group of people who "police the airwaves" to ensure that our "children" are not being "exposed" to anything bad. However, they have no rights to oversee movie channels that come with a basic cable package like IFC and Encore. Real important those FCC folk are. And good job they are doing. We can't see a bum bum on ABC at 10 Mountain Time, but we can flip over three nights a week to 326 or 203 and see Marsellus Wallace getting ass raped by Zed and Maynard. But the best part of this news? The FCC called a woman's behind an "excretory organ." I'm gonna try that as a pick up line sometime. "Excuse me, miss, your excretory organ looks excellent in those Citizens jeans....."

I have to say, this Roger Clemens thing really does not interest me. He obviously used steroids after the "twilight of his career" (thanks Duke) and truthfully, who cares? I guess the lying under oath thing is bad, but everybody lies. I have always found it weird that you can go to jail if you lie after placing your hand on a bible and promising to tell the whole truth. Can I try that in my class when a student says he did his paper, but the printer didn't work and then if I catch him in a lie, can I prosecute him.....?

Can someone please tell me what the big deal is with GPS? I understand that yes, advances in technology are great. I'm the guy who has a wall mount TV, has owned three iPods (I can't remember life toting around that ridiculous discman), and has 3000 text messages per month, but GPS just doesn't blow my hair back. Firstly, it's not that cheap. Secondly, it's a huge target for thieves and thirdly, it doesn't work well in the cold. So on a frigid day, you can't even have access to it. I've seen it in action and it's pretty cool, but I'll still take the nine seconds to punch in a couple of addresses on google maps (a far more helpful and cost efficient invention by the way). Also, it can't work that well since it led Michael Scott to bang a right into a lake.....

If you haven't heard of them, Vampire Weekend is a great new band. Again, I'm late to the party on this one, but it is really solid. The songs are short and catchy and it has an early Police feel to it and some have said there are tons of Paul Simon similarities. It's cheap at Newbs right now, so it is totally worth the pick up. While you're there, grab the new Cat Power and the new Bob Mould. Both solid efforts.....

Is it true?!?!? Can it really be?!?!? Is this the last we've seen of Stupid Curt?!?!? At least we'll have 38pitches.com.....

It's good to see there is some backlash for both Juno and Daniel Day Lewis' performance ("I drank your milkshake!") in There Will Be Blood. Juno is the far more worthless of the two and I'm wondering how long we are going to have to suffer through "brilliant" and "original" indie comedies. I'll take the teenage dialogue in the way more realistic Mean Girls over the "quirky" (read: unrealistic) dialogue in the first twenty minutes of Juno anytime. And have you seen Ellen Page in an interview yet? You might want to fight her.....

Bill Simmons had an awesome link in his most recent column (it's to the right) about the twenty best concerts in Boston history. Many are worthless, but it's interesting to see if you were at any (I was!) and I was happy to see a few of my personal faves in Arcade Fire and Bloc Party make the list. And as if I needed to hype this band again, unbelievable The National made it. God, what a live show.....

So my friend Sheila told me that McCain made a comment about he being the only candidate with a "platform." Is this directed to his possible opponent and my boy Barack? If so, it's typical politician speak. I'll be the first to admit that Barack has had very little to say about what his real agenda is, but I bet you can go back in history and retrace ANY presidents words and see that their pre election rhetoric was all complete bullshit. This is completely unscientific and I have zero statistics or quotes (other than H.W. "read my lips, no new.....") to support it, but something tells me that not every president has been able to "cut spending, decrease taxes, create jobs, protect our country, educate our children, feed starving children, solve the AIDS epidemic, win the war on drugs, give equal rights to all, and make us less reliant on foreign oil." So when you right wingers and centrists do not vote for Barack, please refrain from using, "I didn't vote for him because he has no platform," because none of them have a platform. And if they do, it can't be enacted. So just tell us the real reason you didn't vote for Barack and that's because he's a Muslim who doesn't pledge allegiance..... (By the way, please tell me you got my sarcasm there. Especially those who "stumble" on this blog)

With the super bowl hangover (ha, ha!) and the impending start of spring training, it has been easy to miss the Celtics, but they are fast becoming one of the most likable teams in recent Boston memory. There is not a Curt Schilling or Rodney Harrison in the group and Doc Rivers is the anti Belichick. They might have the most likable person in the NBA (and maybe on Earth) in Kevin Garnett and their role players are all lovable (the almost entirely white Garden audience seems to love the "gritty" Scalabrine the best). Rondo has morphed himself into a game changer and the Celtics are so different when he is not on the floor. Ray Allen is the man, Pierce has always been unfairly criticized (he's a gamer who plays hurt and fears no one), and guys like Perk, Powe, Big Baby, and Eddie House do nothing but endear themselves to the fans. If you're not on board yet, read some articles and watch some games. You'll love this team.....

The Burren may have jumped the shark. Once the greatest Irish Pub around, it has turned into Somerville's version of The Harp. There are more untucked striped shirts and dudes who wear hats out than I've seen since I went to Trinity twelve years ago. It's still great on a weeknight and it still pours the best Guiness (and it helps that the bartender who knows me so well always gives me a couple free rounds), but it might be time for old pub goers like me to relocate to the Field or Magouns. Plus, the last time I was there, half of Melrose showed up. Never a good thing when you're local watering hole has turned into a suburbanite haven.....

A friend of mine recently created a blog and on her "faves" page she listed Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as one of her must reads. I read it once in college (which likely means that I was ASSIGNED the reading and probably watched the movie instead), but couldn't remember it (probably because I didn't read it). So I recently read it again and it is unbelievable. Now, I'm not trying to be that pseudo-intellectual guy who appreciates fine 19th century British Literature, but this is such a timeless story. Yes, it's a period piece, but between the hilarity of Mr. Bennet, the lovable, feisty Lizzie, and the amazingly poignant relationship between Lizzie and Jane, this book is simply tremendous. While it is no To Kill A Mockingbird, I enjoyed it way more than many of the other "classics" I've tried reading (I'm talking to you Jane Eyre) and I recommend it to anyone looking to change up their Bridget Jones reading habits and check out something different.....

Not sure what the Sox are planning on doing with both Ellsbury and Coco, but given what the Mets gave Minnesota to get Santana (which was players who aren't good), you have to wonder why the Sox didn't jump back in on the sweepstakes one last time. Couldn't they have at least TRIED to woo the Twins with a package of Coco, Lester, and Masterson? You gotta think the Mets would have preferred that package to the one they got which by all reports, was junk.....

If there is anyone out there looking for something fun to do on a Sunday afternoon in March, there is a great 5K in Davis. It starts late enough to sleep off Saturday's hangover, it's short, and the post game festivities are a blast (we can avoid The Burren). And it might be the second best day of the year, after Valentine's Day to you know..... Meet people.....

Anyone see that 92.9 has gone to a new format? It's called "adult alternative" and you get some pretty good tunes on there. Granted, they play too much Linkin Park and Chili Peppers, but I've heard some nice mid nineties rockers like Sponge and Toad The Wet Sprocket. And the best part? They've taken a page from satellite radio and gone DJ free.....

My Super Bowl Sunday is a week from this Sunday and I'm so excited. What is my Super Sunday? The Oscars dummy! It's a wide open field with zero clear front runners (although Chigurh better yolk a best supporting) and some great nominees. The documentary category is stacked (although they left out The King of Kong which was utterly amazing) and still no one knows where the best pic statue is going. If you've read this blog at all, you know who I am pulling for and who I am NOT pulling for. I can't wait for Pitt (imagine he loses to De Niro?) to snag a nomination. It'll be one of these years and when he does, I might root harder for him than I did the night UMass came thisclose to beating Kentucky in The Final Four. We almost had'em Giddel Padilla.....

Finally (and this is really only for the dudes), there might not be a better cost to fun ratio than a Nerf Basketball Hoop. My bro and I recently picked one up and I don't think we've used something more frequently than this. In fact, it's so great that I can't believe it took me twenty six months to think to buy one. And guess what it cost? $2.99!!!!! Think about that? What can you get for $2.99? Virtually nothing. And you most certainly can't get something this fun. So pick one up. Of course, your apartment/home is probably classier than mine, so you probably won't have it in the living room, but throw it in your basement or in your office at home or at work. I'm telling you, it's so much fun. It's particularly fun when you've had a few beers or when you make up insane rules like if you shoot an airball, your opponent gets a free chuck at your nuts.....

Yeah I'm 34. Worse than that, YOU'RE friends with me.....