I Hate You Bill Simmons

It's my dream to write. You all know this. I already have the best screenplay acceptance speech for No Long Term Plan (that's my manuscript) written. I thank all of you loyal blog readers in said speech- by the way- for supporting my pathetic dream. You'll all get an individual shout out. I'm serious.

But onto more pressing issues.

Fuck Bill Simmons.

Well, not really, because it's a money piece. But shit, I HAD IT FIRST!!! I had it BEFORE the olympics and if you had the unfortunate pleasure of actually having to be around me between August 8th and August 24th of this year, you know that THIS IS ALL I TALKED ABOUT!!!

Some of you laughed at me for staying up that Saturday until 2:30 to watch my boys. But I saw it. I watched Doug Collins put on the best color man performance of all time. I watched Kobe destroy a four point play where I think I was actually more excited than I was when JD stroked that homer last October. I watch Coach K coach the shit out of that game. I watched twelve European stiffs get smoked by my boys. And then I watched my twelve boys receive their medals. All the while, I drank my PBR Tall Boys and smiled until 5:30 that morning.

And I did because I loved them. I loved Lebron, Kobe, Melo, Kidd, Howard, Bosh (my fave), Deron, CP3, Tayshaun, D-Wade (The MVP), Redd, and twelfth man Boozer.

And what happens? Some dude with a big fancy column on a big fancy website that gets probably 50 million hits a day goes and swipes my piece.

Granted, his entire article was way better than anything I could have written. And this is probably why he has a byline on ESPN and I have... A blog that I was happy to see got twenty hits today...

Anyways, when you're at a cocktail party this weekend and the topic of USA basketball comes up- which it will absolutely not- just remember that it was your chuckah friend Gerard that wrote the piece before the most read author on ESPN wrote his.

In the words of Chucky, I don't know much, but I know that...

PS- Here it is by the way... And it's awesome!!!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3575385