Are You All Okay With This Yet?

Jennifer Aniston is a loser.

I've been saying this for years and when it all went south for her and Brad three years ago, I was the only one defending Brad (shocking, eh?). Everybody else was saying what an awful person he was, how Rachel, er, Jen, was so cute, how she handled herself with such class, how Brad was a jerk, how Angelina was a homewrecker, how Brad was a cheater, how Jen was so cute, how Angelina was a nut job, how Brad was a scumbag for being with Angelina while still with Jen, how Jen was so cute, how Angelina used to carry a vile of blood around her neck.

But now that the dust has cleared, we are finally seeing the truth. And the truth is that Brad made the right decision. Did it all go down "the right way?" No. But in love and life, things rarely go down the right way.

Why am I commenting on some nugget of celebrity gossip that is three years old? Because recently, Jen has been seen with John Mayer (which needs to be a whole other post. This guy definitely has a ten inch schlong because I do not understand how someone who wrote the lyrics "One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue" gets the women he gets) and apparently, she said that John Mayer is way better in bed than Brad Pitt.

Classy Jen.

Now, this statement may not be true, but it's been out there for six days now without retraction from Jen. And so I ask you (and by "you" I mean all of you with two Xs in your chromosome pairing) Jen supporters... You still with her?

I've touched on the Brad/Jen/Angie subject before and we all know where I come down. And in matters like this, no one really ended up "right" and no one really ended up "wrong," but when this happened three years ago, I seemed to be the lone Brad defender. Rather than talk about mortgages and babies, all I ever wanted to talk about was the really important stuff... Like Brad and Jen's breakup.

And when I did talk about that I was SLAMMED with comments like...

"Brad is such a scumbag for leaving Jen..."
"Angelina is gross and weird..."
"Why would Brad ever leave Jen for Angelina..?"
"Brad just acts like Angelina and he has no personality of his own..."

And now, here we are, three years later and Jen is making this ridiculous comment regarding her sex life. And in the meanwhile, Brad has conducted himself with such dignity and class. And further, he has somehow- despite being half of the worlds most famous couple- maintained a LOW PROFILE!

I know that many of you will disgaree with me and that is okay, but considering they ARE the world's most famous couple, you don't see them much. Sure, we know they are having kids at rates usually found in rats and cockroaches and we also know they have done some stuff in New Orleans and Africa. And they have also found time to star in and gain critical acclaim for a few movie roles. But what else do we know? What controversy have they stirred? When have they acted like idiots?

They are rarely on shows like TMZ and Entertainment Tonight, they are not jumping on couches confessing their love, they are not showing up on Oprah talking about how they don't use deodorant, they are not talking about how difficult/beautiful/spiritual giving birth is, and they are certainly not comparing their current sex life to their past sex lives with partners Gwyneth Paltrow and Billy Bob Thornton.

On the other hand, Jen Aniston has dated a string of Himbos, no names, and no talents. She has starred in movies where she plays Rachel Green, and she has played the poor, little, cute dumped girl. And then she said her current tool bag of a boyfriend is better in bed than Brad Pitt.

Classless.

And where is the outrage? Where are you now Rachel Green defenders? Is she still the poor, cute, dumped girl she was three years ago? Or is she now a talentless hack who can't get over her ex-husband?

Look, I am by no means condoning what Brad did and how he and Angelina got together. I still feel for Jen every time I watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith (which is shockingly frequently) as I think of her watching it for the first time and saying, "my marriage is over." And I don't care what sort of public persona she puts up, but it has to kill her every time she sees Brad and Angie together. Imagine her seeing the above pic (and by the way, my boy still has it, despite talk that he is looking "weathered"). She has to ask herself, "what are they talking about? Is it loving? Dirty? An inside joke?" And I don't blame Jen for this. I bumped into a girl I dated twice and I hated that she was with another dude. She was supposed to like ME, not HIM! And I can only imagine that it's a thousand times worse for Jen. In fact, sometimes, when I hear a loud thump, I think it actually might be Jen hitting the pavement after she plunged off a building.

But what if Angelina and Brad ACTUALLY like each other? What if they stay together until death and make a family of 47 Pitt-Jolies? Then was it okay for Brad to pitch worthless Jen? Or should he have stayed in a miserable relationship, as so many other miserable couples do throughout America? Should he have given up something real just to stay with Jen? If they stayed together, yet were miserable, would all you Anistonites be happy?

I get it. Jen got hurt and so many of us could feel for cute little Rachel Green with her cute little hair cut because we too have also been hurt by a horrible partner like Brad. But it's three years later and Brad has still never said a bad word about Jen. He doesn't throw Angelina in Jen's face and he certainly doesn't talk about how good Angie is in bed.

I'm not sure why this whole thing still bothers me, but it does. I think it's more about people and their inability to change their minds than it is about Brad, Jen, and Angelina. I often get criticized for "changing" and for some weird reason, that's always an insult. I sure hope that I've changed. I sure hope that the 99 isn't my favorite restaurant- as it once was. I sure hope that Everybody Wang Chung Tonight isn't my favorite song- as it once was. And I sure hope that I don't find hair with lots of Aqua Net in it sexy- as I once did.

Three years ago, Brad dumped Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie. It looked bad and it was easy to hate on Brad. But things change. Brad has done everything he can to make up for his "atrocities" and Jen has... Well, Jen has talked about her sex life with a guy whose 15 minutes of fame is at 14:51 right now.

And three years later, Brad looks like the class act, while cute Rachel Green look like a scorned ex-wife who can't get over her ex.

Game, set, match.

Brad wins.

And it's time you all saw that. It's okay to change your mind. Especially when you were wrong.