So Worry Not, All Things Are Well, We'll Be Alright

Eleven years later, my favorite band (unbeknowst to me) made a video that summed up everything I spent eleven years trying to say.

Listen, this has nothing to do with The National. Only it kind of does, because their video for "Apartment Story" is virtually flawless and- while none of you even know it- it is such a spot on example of the first time.

In case you have forgotten or never seen the video, here it is...



And so why is it flawless?!? Because it deals with that moment and space in time when you experienced something for the first time.

You do remember the first time, right?

But guess what? I'm not talking about THAT first time because frankly... I don't give a shit.

People always talk about the first time. They talk about their first kiss, their first car, their first sexual partner, and the first time they got drunk.

But in 2009, that stuff means shit. Sure, you KNOW your first kiss and you also know the first person you had sex with (which you probably regret), but what about the OTHER firsts? The shit that actually shaped who and what you are. Because while everyone TELLS us we should remember our first kiss and our first bang, those things really don't define us. What defines us is who we really are.

Are we really the first person we kissed or fucked?!? No. We aren't. We are so much more.

Really, what is your passion? Is it baseball? Then you should remember your first trip to Fenway. Is it music? Then you should remember your first concert. Is it film? Then you should remember your first movie.

My point here is that we are always FORCED to remember our FIRST. Our first home, our first girlfriend, our first day of school. But really, all that stuff is meaningless if we are not interested in it. What really matters is the first of something that is relevant to us.

Why am I saying this you ask? Well, mostly because of The National video that is above. And if you can't make the connection, well... Then we probably should not be friends.

But when I watch this video, by The National and it just reminds me about firsts.

I knew at four that film was my thing when my father took me (he'd be hung for it now) to see Jaws. And then I remember my second movie, Star Wars (has that had an impression on me?), and sitting in the second row (that is literally the reason I show up to every movie 30 minutes early, even if it is at The Capitol). I still remember the article that made me want to be a writer (Leigh Montville's farewell piece in the Globe) and I still remember as clear as day the first time I saw rubyhorse. I remember Julie taking me to see Return Of The Jedi with a full on sunburn. I remember Christmas Eve at Fran and Alice's as the greatest night of my life (it's also the first place I saw the Thriller video). I remeber the first time I met Brian in Little League. I remember Shaun calling my name at freshman orientation in the midst of 5000 people moving out of a hall in 1992. I remember Molly calling me in a time of need. I remember my cousin Jeff wrestling the inner tube. I remember my cousin Rod's talking about FREEEEEEEEEEZE pops. I remember my cousin Alison having my back when people made fun of me for being in love with Princess Leia (true story... She said, "I mean, c'mon guys, she is really pretty!"). I remember overhearing my father telling his brother Fran what a good writer I was. I remember my sister telling me she didn't hate me at my other sister's rehersal dinner. I remember my brother having my back.... So much more than he should have. And I remember my other sister for... Well, for never saying a bad word about me in her whole life, even though she could have.

I remember Steve and Heidi letting me be their roommate. I remember Scott and Scott and Brian and Brian and Jay and Matt and Eric and Tim and Steve and Steve and Pat and Dave accepting me, fighting for me, sleeping with me (head to toe of course!), cleaning up my vomit, and seeing me cry. And I remember the first time I hugged Marissa in a non friend way.

My point?

There is nothing like that first time. It doesn't have to be the first time that society says has to be the first time. It just has to be that first time that actually means something to you. Maybe it was the first time you saw Rocky or saw Pear Jam live (two things that mean nothing to me), but if it meant something to you, then it is overwhelming. And that's what makes "Apartment Story" so unbelievable, but more importantly, that's what makes life so unbelievable, becuase even if you are 35 (like me), 45, or 55.... Next week, you might just experience something you've never seen before in your whole life.

And that's pretty fuckin' cool.