Betcha' Didn't Know The Impact He Had On Me

I know you've heard my rants on writing. Who I admire (Matt and Ben! And you Chuck K!), who I find irritating (your plot twists are so stupid Jodi Picoult), who everyone hates on yet is such an unbelievable writer (my Curly Haired Boyfriend) who I defend like she were my sister (Emily Giffin), who I hate on because I'm better than (I think he wrote Garden State), who I'm jealous of because I wish I thought of his idea first (Bill Simmons), and who just plain sucks (whatever Diablo Cody's real name is).

But I don't think I've ever touched on how much I enjoy and truly admire those people who write song lyrics (except for you Jim Morrison and lead singer of Sublime).

Why? Because you could lock me a 10x10 square foot room with all the writing playlists I need, endless vodka drinks (I like enjoying those while I write), Antonios pizza, Emily Giffin books to inspire me, and Empire Strikes Back on repeat (for periodic breaks) and I would STILL not be able to write one single good song.

I've tried it before and crashed and burned like Maverick hitting on Charlie. All writers (which I'm not) have a fear of letting people read their stuff, but as you can likely deduce by reading this, I have overcome that fear like I overcame the fear of talking to Ginger in high school.

But there's an outside chance I'd prefer you to pull out my fingernails Syriana style than write a song and have ANYONE read it, because it will be worse than something Gunner Nelson wrote.

Which is why, despite my occassional (no really, it IS only accassional!) hating on lyricists, I love lyrics.

I first discovered lyrics when I first discovered music. I had no older brother to give me Foreigner records (why weren't you giving me Iggy Pop and The Clash albums Julie?!?) and I never heard Credence until "Fortunate Son" ripped through the Vietnam scene in Forrest Gump (for serious). I can remeber memorizing the lyrics to "99 Red Balloons" (not the German ones) and I also remember knowing the lyrics to "Every little Thing She Does Is Magic" and having to correct Ted Bibeau when he idiotically said at the bus stop that every little thing she did was actually, plastic. I think that he beat me up after I said that. He often beat me up, but at least I was smarter than him.

But lyrics really changed for me when I discovered the Pretty Woman and Top Gun soundtracks. And although I rarely get embarassed, I have no intention of sharing with you which lyrics got to me from those albums, but rest assured, it was NOT Playing With the Boys.

Thankfully, I grew out of that wretched stage and discovered gems like Cheap Trick's "The Flame." Eventually, I put myself out of my musical taste retardedness and moved onto the lurical genuis wrought by the alternative scene. And when I wasn't shedding tears to "Black," I was contemplating ways to kill myself while listening to "Pictures of You" in the dark.

In case you haven't noticed the pattern here, I like songs about relationships/failed relationships/missed opportunities in relationships/true relationships, and breakups- both messy and otherwise. Like Rob Gordon said, "What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

And while listening to the most recent Death Cab For Cutie CD, I realized that lyrics (Cath... She stands with a well intentioned man... But she can't relax with his hands...On the small of her back... As the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile... Like someone would hold a crying child) still mean a lot to me. Whether it's nearly tearing up on the treadmill (a certain Coldplay song about a certain family member) or getting overwhelmed by the passion of Dave Grohl (Has someone taken your faith... Its real, the pain you feel... The life, the love... You'd die to heal...The hope that starts... The broken hearts... Your trust, you must... Confess) when I've had too much to drink, lyrics have always done it for me. While I cannot say at this time that the following are my all time favorites, I can say that as of right now, these are my favorites. And so that should be good enough for you because the following cheese ball lyrics will give you plenty of opportunity to dispute my statements and, in turn, shit on me.

16. The Features- "Someway, Somehow": I'll never let you down,... I'll keep you safe from harm... Someway, somehow... Know you can count on me... I'll always be around,... Give everything you need... Someway, Somehow. Who is this written to? A son or daughter? A significant other? I don't know, but I love that this song makes no promises. It just says it'll be done, someway, somehow.

15. Feist- "I Feel It All": Oh I'll be the one who'll break my heart... I'll be the one to hold the gun... Mostly because it's me always fuckin' shit up...

14. The Samples- "Did You ever look So Nice?": We were children in our places... With the world beneath our feet... And growing up was on our faces... I remember yours so sweet... A song about being a kid? If it's not a song about relationships that gets me, it'll surely be a song about being a kid. Man it sucks to think my life peaked at ten...

13. Powderfinger- "My Happiness": It seems an age since Ive seen you... Countdown as the weeks trickle into days... I hope that time hasnt changed you... All I really want is for you to stay... And then a song about somebody coming back for someone? You are aware that most of the books that clog my shelves are of the chick lit genre, aren't you...?

12. The Pushstars- "Any Little Town": Everytime you smile... It takes me quite a while to recover... And everytime you cry... I find I'm searching for the rock I can crawl under... Imagine you thought to write this song for your girlfriend/wife? You could pretty much do no wrong... Now why couldn't I come up with that..?


11. Buffalo Tom- "Torch Singer": There are some things I've got to say... She won't understand anyway... There are miles between our hearts... There's salvation in false starts... I've always got something to say. Usually I do, except when when it's a "she" involved. The hundreds of dollars I've spent in therapy tried to fix that and while it's gotten better...

10. Dave Matthews Band- "Lie In Our Graves": I cant believe that we would lie in graves... Wondering if we had spent our living days well... I cant believe that we would lie in graves... Wondering what we might of been... Along with all things relationships, lyrics about regret get me. Not so much because I have regrets, but lyrics about regret can be weirdly nostalgic to me. And as I write this, maybe it's the nostalgia of Lie In Our Graves that gets me... Of course, it doesn't help that this album was released second semester senior year at The Greatest University In the Nation...

9. Iron and Wine- "Trapeze Swinger": Please, remember me... Seldomly... In the car behind the carnival... My hand between your knees... You turned from me... And said, "The trapeze act was wonderful... But never meant to last..." I think it's the seldomly that gets me. I sometimes think about not being remembered. 100 years from now, I won't be. None of us will be. And that's sad. And this song captures that perfectly.

8. Sinead O'Connor (But Lyrics By Prince)- "Nothing Compares 2 U": It's been seven hours and fifteen days... Since you took your love away... I go out every night and sleep all day... Since you took your love away... Since you been gone I can do whatever I want... I can see whomever I choose... I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant... But nothing... I said nothing can take away these blues... I think we've all heard this song and we all know what it's about (who knew Prince had it in him), but really, it can be about losing anyone or anything. The passion with which she sings this song doesn't make it any less likable either.

7. Matthew Sweet- "Sick Of Myself": Theres something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive... But Im sick of myself when I look at you... Something is beautiful and true... In a world thats ugly and a lie... Its hard to even want to try... And Im beginning to think baby you dont know... Again, likely about a girl, but to me, it's about anything that's ever kept you alive. Which reminds me. When I was a kid and heard that George Lucas was eventually going to release three more movies (actually, he said nine), all I hoped was that I lived long enough to see them all. I'm three years past my best if used by date.

6. Rod Stewart- "Ooh La La": I wish that I knew what I know now... When I was younger... Because who doesn't?

5. The National- "Mr. November": I wish that I believed in fate... I wish I didn't sleep so late... I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders... You knew they'd show up here, right (and Mr. November was the original name of this blog, but it was taken)? In all seriousness, the regret here is palpable. And while I was never carried in the arms of cheerleaders, I did lead the Pee Wee League in hitting in fourth grade...

4. stellastarr*- "My Coco": I sat alone and I didn't care ... I sat two years in the same old chair ... I saw three roads and I didn't know ... Which way to go-go-go... Who hasn't known which way to go? Where do I go in work? How do i get to The Cape? Which college? Time Out, Delanos, or Mike's Westview? Life is full of these choices... I was glad to hear Shawn had some trouble with them too...

3. Bruce Springsteen- "Tunnel of Love": It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough... Man meets woman and they fall in love... But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough... And youve got to learn to live with what you cant rise above... If you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love... Quite possibly the best song about a relationship ever written. Leave it to the old guy who has been through his share of relationships to have them so perfectly figured out. While everyone waxes poetic about "Born To Run," it was the lyrics to this '80s gem that blew it away. Good work Boss...

2. Coldplay- "Fix You": Tears stream down on your face... I promise you I will learn from my mistakes... Tears stream down your face... And I... Lights will guide you home... And ignite your bones... And I will try to fix you... Yeah, I've mentioned this to you before. And if you don't like this, there really is something wrong with you. I'm serious. You have no tear ducts or something. Or you are an emotionless, iceman on par with a Terminator. Or you're a sociopath. Ted Bundy was a sociopath...

1. Oasis- "Wonderwall": And all the roads that lead to you were winding ... And all the lights that light the way are blinding ... There are many things that I would like to say to you ... But I don't know how... You were expecting something else? Please. I wake up everyday because of these lyrics. All I hope is that I can be someone's wonderwall. You available Megan Fox?