The Party Is Over MTV

Remember, back just a few years ago, when MTV seemed to rule the world? I'm not talking the mid eighties here. I'm talking about 2002 and 2003, when Newlyweds, The Osbournes, Jackass and TRL were all people talked about. Really, try to remember that. The Chicken of the Sea, the "SHARON!!!!!", Johnny Knoxville in Yoga class, the hate/love you had for Carson Daly. It all seems so long ago, doesn't it?

Today, thousands if not hundreds of thousands of blogs will talk about Britney. It was bad. But that's like saying Xanadu or JD Drew are bad. Too easy. The problem with last night is that we realized just how awful MTV is. The once great empire has collapsed under the weight of has beens, hip hop, and an inability to read its audience.

I like Diddy. I really do. I think the guy is funny. But why does MTV still focus on him? The Diddy thing is over. He was once a hilarious, talented (I think), and relevant celebrity, but like so much of MTV, he has become a caricature of himself. But yet MTV (who are the people making decisions there these days? People trapped in 2000?) decided to make him the star of the show, along with a bunch of hip hop aritists that, while talented, will become irrelavant by the summer of '08? This was a poor decision. Look at who else was in the audience: Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. The fight might have been funyy..... six years ago. They were relevant once, but does anyone even know what they do these days?

And herein lies MTVs most colossal failure: They have not changed with the times.

Somehow, MTV- which was once on the cutting edge of EVERYTHING- has become your grandfather. They stick to old ideas and traditions. Heck, they stick to old costumes and choreography. I realize they tried to spruce it up, but it was awful. Why are they showing us 45 seconds of performances when that's what we watch awards shows for? Why are they sticking to one genre (hip hop) when the billboard charts show us that the culture is no longer ruled by hip hop?

Now, you might be saying it is because I don't like hip hop. That is untrue. The Black Album is one of the greatest albums of the new millenium. Mos Def has been releasing amazing tunes for a decade. Kanye West and Common have saved rap and more to the point, actually tried to advance it somewhat. But here is where MTV has really screwed up: They think that hip hop is the ONLY genre. It's not, MTV. In fact, you remember those big ratings you used to get for TRL back in 2001 and 2002? Well, all those 15 year olds have grown up and become college kids. So know what you should do MTV? Saunter on over to the College Radio Charts and see what's selling over there. I can tell you, it is not the Akon/T.I./T Pain collaborative.

Further, this summer, Entertainment Weekly ran an article talking about how Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, and The Shins topped the CD charts three out of four weeks. Those are three "indie" bands that the mainstream has not heard of, yes, but MTV's audience has MOST CERTAINLY heard of these bands. And didn't MTV once pride itself on NOT being mainstream? How could they let another awards show slide by without introducing these mega talents to a new audience?

MTV's audience you say? Isn't that high schoolers? As Charlie Murphy said about Rick James learning his lesson, "WRONG!"

MTV is no longer watched by high school kids. Today, I have so far had 51 students and 15 of these 51 (yes, I really did ask. You can't do Ethan Fromme all day) kids watched the MTV music awards. That's a shockingly low number and it proves (albeit completely unscientifically) what I am trying to say: Kids don't watch MTV. We 20, 30, and 40 year old has beens who remember Adam Curry, Yo MTV Raps!, 120 Minutes, and Headbangers Ball watch MTV. WE were the ones watching Newlyweds and The Osbournes (heck, my parents watched the Osbournes!). WE are the ones watching and talking about videos! We are the ones that remember Nirvana unplugged and staying up late to see banned George Michael and Madonna videos. Todays kids don't have to do that so here's an idea MTV, STOP MARKETING TO THEM!!!!!

Last night took no risks and brought no new viewers into the fold. The show should have taken some gambles and had something other than hip hoppers perform. Throw Bloc Party or Arcade Fire out there. It's not like the are commercial failures who wouldn't draw viewers. They sell records! Instead, we get Chris Brown doing his Usher doing his Michael Jackson. And stop with Timbaland. He's talented yeah, but is he so talented that he shows up in every award category/live performance? Christ, you don't see that much Clooney at the Academy Awards and he's WAY more talented (where was he in the "Quadruple Threat" category?). Which reminds me: Stop using stupid names for categories MTV!!!!! No one uses "Monster Single!"

But it doesn't have to be just my music either. Where was Daughtry? Or some young country singer? Get the Cast of High School Musical (only the best selling CD in all the universe) out there. How about having Mandy Moore perform her version of Umbrella which is currently burning up the internet? In the year of the female invasion, where were Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Regina Spektor, Feist (notice her on iPod and cell phone ads? Think those companies might know what they are doing MTV?), and MIA? Where are the bands that grace the covers of Rolling Stone and Spin, like Rilo Kiley and Interpol? Or if you don't want to go in that direction MTV, pay some money to reunite bands. Get No Doubt back together or pay for Rage Against The Machine (currently playing at festivals). Heck, The Police sell out everywhere! Get their old asses here!!!!! Where was Prince or Paul McCartney? I know that might sound ludicrous, but iPod was marketing McCartney and last I checked, Apple is doing okay. At the very least MTV, introduce us to something new. It was you, MTV, that showed me The Shout Out Louds, TV On The Radio, and Johnny Knoxville. Where has that edge gone? Where's the originality?

In the end, MTV has just done a terrible job of shifting with the times. They abadoned videos long ago, but where are the new shows? Who wants to watch My Super Sweet Sixteen? Or The Hills? I saw that before..... When it was called The OC (which was cancelled by the way!!!!!)? Or Real World 31, which is the same as Real World 6, 9,13, 0r 27?

MTV needs to come to grips with the fact that they have been beaten to the punch by iTunes, My Space, and other music sharing websites. And to a lesser degree, their once edgy programs have been one upped by HBO, Cinemax, and Showtime programming. Rather than embracing ANYTHING new, they have stuck with the tried and true, something they failed to do for 20 years. And it has come back to bite them in the ass.

Blow the thing up MTV. And while you're at it, blow up Young Jeezy and Timbaland too.